You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize