so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize
