Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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