Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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