winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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