maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
