We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
