goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
