i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
