Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
