It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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