You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
