I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
