Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
