This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Randomize