i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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