Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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