ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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