I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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