just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
