i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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