I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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