I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
