True but thats because hes a fetus.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
