So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
