apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Randomize
