Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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