I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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