And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I think I just sharted jello shots
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
