I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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