the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
