If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
