This girl is more easily done than said...
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
