and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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