so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
