He asked me if I "almost moaned"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
