The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
