Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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