The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
