I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Randomize
