every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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