I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
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