she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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