You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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