You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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