I'm going to jail i love you
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
