she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
