he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
