I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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