Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she pinky promised me she was 18
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
