I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
