Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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