grandma shit on top of the toilet
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just had sex on a roof
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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