their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
