so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Randomize
