Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
