i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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