Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
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