there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
