we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
