she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I AM VODKA MAN
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize