3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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