is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
