Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
