i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
