can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
40s are totally the cure
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
