Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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