You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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