He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
