I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
