I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
