we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize