omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
