Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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