you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
