We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
